I am living an interesting phase of my life. In the past I used to have a steady rhythm to my steps. Mostly predictable moves. Taking it easy. One step at a time. Then few months ago I started to stir it up a little, because I found that doing some actions now based on futuristic predictions can turn into a waste of time if it was not planned perfectly well.
I started to redesign the way I live and started to think about my future in a different manner.
Normally I love of the feeling of anticipation. Just like in a roller coaster, the most exciting (and fearful) point for me is when you see the tip of the trail but nothing afterwards. And as I lived a very predictable life (from my point of view, however my family and some of my friends would disagree J ), I decided to be more daring. I started to plan for the things I wanted to do but was afraid of thinking that it might happen. Or in other words, start contemplating options that I have always thought would be out of my reach.
All of that accumulated in a certain point where I have to make a drastic decision.
And unfortunately I am not a person who can make up her mind easily when it comes to major decisions (except in shopping), but when I do I follow through till the end. And the funny thing is that I know that for whatever I choose I will put all my powers to make it work, and I know that whatever my decision would be I will not regret missing out the other options (hopefully), yet I still don’t know which destination I want to reach in -say- 20 years.
So I’m 24 and I still don’t know where I want my destination to be! What a shame!
My golf guru once told me that I have what it takes to do a nice golf swing. I have already a nice base of knowledge. I have the physical flexibility and strength that permit me to do it quite well. But it’s all in my mind. I have to let go. “Just arrange your thoughts, consider all the tiny movements you need to perform, then forget about all of that and release all your energy swiftly, because only at that moment you would truly feel the ecstasy of perfection”.
I used to smile when he said so. I didn’t know how would a simple swing would give me this pleasure. But when I truly did it right, it was unbelievable!
Oh how I want to feel the same way about the other aspects of my life…