Akhiran I managed to kidnap my mother and head for a long weekend in the north coast. I always beleived that only fools would bring a laptop when they go on vacations, but here I am, at 11:30 pm, sitting in the living room, the sea is surprisingly quiet tonight, I have just finished watching Antonio Banderas in “Take the lead“, an insipring movie of ballroom dancing teacher who decide to try a new way in teaching high schoolers.
What touched me in the movie was something else,,, there was a scene when the kids really loved dancing to the extent that they danced everywhere, in the metro, moved their feet at classes, moved around the house as if they were waltzing,,,, THIS IS THE FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOU ENJOY DOING SOMETHING.
I used to feel this too a long time ago.
In Aikido there is a uki (the attacker) and nage (the defender / the thrower), when u are the uki, you try to attack ur partner and discover his points of weaknesses, while at the same time feel his movements in order to be safe. When u are the nage, you calculate the movements of ur partner, his speed, his direction, anticipate what’s the best reaction to his attack, then u ‘take the lead’ and direct him in the best place where u are in control, all this by steady and smooth footsteps and body movements… So basically it is just like a dance. So PLASE, if anyone told u Aikido is the art of breaking bones, know that he talking nonesense, beleive me.
I won’t go into the details of energy flow and harmony, which are the esense of Aikido, because this is not the appropriate place. It’s just that I am angry at myself. very angry actually. I love aikido. I spent years dedicated to the art, not just me but my friends too. I had great memories, and awful ones too. We had many laughters together, but I can also remember some tears….. So why did I lose this feeling of dedication? why for 3 years have i erased the wonderful experience of 3 other years! I keep telling myself I will get back to the dojo, I will get my white gi and my black hakama, will bring my wooden jo and boken and will proundly enter MY dojo, the place where I used to feel peace and serenity. But I don’t. I went to the dojo a couple of times during the past 6 months. I even commited myself to go at least twice per week for a month (Mid January till mid feb). So what is happening? will it be dropped from my schedule once and for all??? will I afford to lose this few moments of harmony?